Tag others

{ Connect & Empathize …* } “Try to be kind because nastiness is always so tempting.”

{ Connect & Empathize ...* } "Try to be kind because nastiness is always so tempting." | rethinked.org - Photo: Elsa Fridman

“Our nervous systems are constructed to be captured by the nervous systems of others, so that we can experience others as if from within their own skin, as well as from within our own.”

–  Daniel Stern, MD & research psychiatrist at the University of Geneva

I’ve had the kind of week that forces one to stop, take a step back from the noise and [re]consider what’s really important: the others. All the beating hearts, pumping, thumping, warm, fearful, hopeful, awed, flawed, glorious and wondrous other beings that give meaning, depth and richness to our lives.

Try to be kind because nastiness is always so tempting.”

. . . * 

{ You Don’t Need to Travel Far to Unhouse Yourself } Being Open To the Potential All Around Us Is A Choice …*

{ You Don’t Need to Travel Far to Unhouse Yourself } Being Open To the Potential All Around Us Is A Choice ...* | rethinked.org

A few weeks ago, I shared a list of the top five things that walking 500 miles helped me understand in a deeper or different way. Here is a bit more context around the third lesson- be open.

Earlier this week, Jenna remarked that we have both been writing a lot about travel these past few months. Perhaps even with puzzling frequency given that this is a learning innovations blog. Yet few activities compare to travel in terms of speed and efficiency at making the ordinary unknown–a critical condition for deep learning, cultivating empathy, curiosity and a host of other learning and flourishing-enabling capacities that fascinate (obsess) us, here at rethinked …*

When we travel, the scope and definitions of what we know become more malleable; we shed our routines and leave behind our habits. Our assumptions are questioned–whether by will or circumstance, or both.

This enlargement of the mundane through added awareness and presence is one of the most fantastic aspects of travel. But what I realized during my walk is that it is possible, easy even, to capture this sense of mystery and presence inherent to travel in one’s everyday. It is a question of choice, of choosing to be open to the present moment.

When I was walking, I met new people every single day–people of all backgrounds, ages and interests. In fact, some of the most meaningful friendships I made were with people I would likely not have been open to meeting at home in New York. I felt significantly more social on the Camino and more excited by the things around me–I peeked around corners; I entered decrepit buildings; I climbed bell towers; I looked up in churches. I felt so eager to interact with the life all around me and I found that many of the barriers I experience in New York, things like anxiety or tiredness, were absent. I wondered why that was and thought how nice it would be to live one’s life as if perpetually in foreign territory. And that’s when I realized how accessible it is to do just that. When I set out for my walk, as I almost always do when I prepare to travel, I set for myself the intention of being open and attentive to the new people I would meet and the new places I would visit. And then I did exactly that, and it was enough, it worked, I lost myself in the best way in the present moment all throughout my trip.

All one has to do is decide to be open to the potential that surrounds us. It seems obvious and it is. But so often we get caught up in the flow of things and we forget that our daily surroundings are teeming with potential for new discoveries, connections and experiences.

There’s a quote from one of Martin Amis’ brilliant novels, Time’s Arrow, which I love and which I’ve shared here before:

Mmm—people! It seems to me that you need a lot of courage, or a lot of something, to enter into others, into other people. We all think that everyone else lives in fortresses in fastnesses: behind moats, behind sheer walls studded with spikes and broken glass. But in fact we inhabit much punier structures. We are, it turns out, all jerry-built. Or not even. You can just stick your head under the flap of the tent and crawl right in. If you get the okay.

We have these ideas of the world being much more impermeable than it actually is. The places, people and experiences that surround us have infinite potential to surprise and delight us, if we just remember to be open. If we make the choice, daily, of asking for the okay.

How Our Ability to Think About Other People’s Thoughts Affects Our Moral Judgement …*

“We have a special brain system that lets us think about what other people are thinking. This system takes a long time to develop, slowly throughout the course of childhood and into early adolescence. And even in adulthood, differences in this brain region can explain differences among adults in how we think about and judge other people.” – Rebecca Saxe

Rebecca Saxe studies a region of the brain whose function is to think about other people’s thoughts, the Right Temporo-Parietal Junction (RTPJ). Saxe and her lab are doing some very interesting research into how the RTPJ develops in childhood and adolescence and how differences in activation of the RTPJ in adulthood can account for differences in moral judgment. In the talk below, Saxe explores this relationship between our capacity to think about other people’s thoughts and the moral judgments we make about others’ actions.

How We Read Each Other’s Minds – Rebecca Saxe 

…* {other people}

Your daily bite-sized source of rethinking…* inspiration:

 

Mmm–people! It seems to me that you need a lot of courage, or a lot of something, to enter into others, into other people. We all think that everyone else lives in fortresses, in fastnesses: behind moats, behind sheer walls studded with spikes and broken glass. But in fact we inhabit much punier structures. We are, it turns out, all jerry-built. Or not even. You can just stick your head under the flap of the tent and crawl right in. If you get the okay. -Time’s Arrow by Martin Amis

brainstorming rules…

DEFER JUDGMENT Don’t dismiss any ideas.
BUILD ON THE IDEAS OF OTHERS No “buts,” only “ands”.
ENCOURAGE WILD IDEAS Embrace the most out-of-the-box notions because they can be the key to solutions.
GO FOR QUANTITY Aim for as many new ideas as possible.
BE VISUAL
STAY FOCUSED ON THE TOPIC Always keep the discussion on target.
ONE CONVERSATION AT A TIME No interrupting, no dismissing, no disrespect, no rudeness.

taken from IDEO’s brainstorming rules

…contrary to what one might imagine there are rules for brainstorming…and yet, how difficult is it to follow these rules…

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